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Tisunge602
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Name: Laura
Country: United States
State: Wisconsin
Metro: Madison
Gender: Female
Interests: GOD, my friends, Africa!, ALIAS!, Friends (the show), LotR, reading YA lit., fantasy, and the classics, memories, colors, new clothes, organizing stuff, logistics, planning, making lists and schedules, food, Eau Claire, duct tape, tigers, correspondence, reading other people's xangas (including people I don't know), music!, watching people draw, sailing, rollerblading, proofreading, sleeping, culture ...
Occupation: Titling Specialist at M&I Bank
Industry: Banking
Message: message me
AIM:  tisunge602
Yahoo:  assanti601
Member Since:
6/5/2004
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| I did promise a real "life in Madison" update, so here goes. I've been here almost five months now (hard to believe), and I think I'm finding my groove. I definitely hit a brick wall right around the 3-4 month mark where I was wondering why I even moved here. I wasn't meeting people or making friends and was really lonely. People who promised they'd help me settle in down here, introduce me to people, etc. broke their promises. Had a breakdown one night when I yelled at God in frustration and he quietly said back something like, "Well, of course people let you down! Duh! You have to trust ME to help you build relationships here!" Since then, I've been trying to trust Him more, and reminding myself when it gets tough and I get let down by people again that people do that. God doesn't. He has put peace in my heart ... about making friends and that He wants me here. Even though I'm still lonely, I am starting to make friends (even if they're only people at work).
On a lighter note, spring has sprung in Madison! I splurged last weekend and bought a brand new road bike... since then I have gone biking almost every day! Around the west bay of Lake Monona, along the Mendota lakeshore, and down State Street. Madison is a very bike-friendly city, and the busy downtown traffic is quite accustomed to "sharing the road with bicycles." I just spent an hour or so at the Union Terrace, just journaling, thinking, people-watching, and looking at the lake. Annie, Nick, and I grilled out for lunch on Tuesday, when it actually hit 70 degrees! Then we went for a long bikeride, got Jamba Juice on State St., and watched a group of people do Brazilian martial arts/dancing/drumming thing. (Forgot what it's called.) And I had that "a-ha" moment... oh, THIS is what Madison is supposed to be like.
P.S. ... Billy Joel and Elton John are coming to the Kohl Center on May 7, and Jenkay and I are going! It's going to be amazing... two concerts in one, two legends in one night. | | |
| I know it's not exactly cool anymore to listen to Smitty, but hey, he's a classic, right? So I've had this theory -- more like an observation -- for awhile now, and I decided to look into it a bit more. Because yes, I do have that kind of time on my hands.
Michael W. Smith has a major fixation with THE NIGHT in his lyrics. Usually it is a preposition followed by "the night," i.e. "through the night" or "in the night." Well, I did some research to see exactly how many of his songs he does this in ... there are no less than thirteen. Not as many as I thought there would be, considering he's been in the business for over 26 years, but still, a lot, right?
There are those more well-known pop hits such as Place In This World: "Roaming through the night to find my place in this world!" and Love of My Life: "My angel in the night, you are my love... the love of my life!" And let's not forget I Will Be Here For You: "Somewhere in the night, I'll be standing by..."
There are also some more worship-y type songs where he does this, like Lord Have Mercy: "Your grace forever shining like a beacon in the night!" And then there's I See You: "Lord, You're leading me with a cloud by day, and then in the night the glow of a burning flame..."
And some lesser-known songs, but by Smitty nonetheless:
I Believe In You Now: "No longer running through the night..."
I Know Your Name: "All alone, your tears call out into the night..." (new preposition on that one!)
Rocketown: "In the heart of the night life" (I agree, that one's a bit of a stretch, but still.)
Raging Sea: "I will be your strong arm in the night..." (classic! echoes of I Will Be Here For You!)
The Last Letter: "Sitting alone up in your empty room in the stillness of the night..."
God of All of Me: "Master of the shining sun and ruler of the night..."
There She Stands (opening lines, people!): "When the night seems to say all hope is lost..."
Finally, even the seasonal Anthem for Christmas: "'Glory!' echoed back the night!"
Annie's theory is that "the night" is Michael's eternal symbol for loneliness and sadness, and I'd have to agree with her on that one. But really, isn't this a little much? I think he's stuck in a rut lyric-wise.
Anyway, friends, that's what I have for now. I gave up Facebook for Lent (which has been quite the exercise in self-sacrifice for me!) so some of you probably thought I fell off the face of the earth. I'll post about my life in Madison soon. | | |
| Today I am moving to Madison after six years of living in Eau Claire. I have been thinking and praying about this decision for over two months, and now that the day is here, I feel nervous, sad, nostalgic, and excited all at the same time. I couldn't sleep last night ... woke up at 5:45 after a restless night.
My life was getting stagnant. Not getting... was already there. Work my 8 to 5, come home, do nothing, go to bed. Lather, rinse, repeat. Like I told Annie, I am only 24 -- too young to be bored with my life. I have been miserable at my job for the last six months or so, which it may be hard to believe if you read some of my blogs from two-three years ago. Poor management, low pay, everyone spread too thin, too many new branches and not enough help/knowledge/experience, etc...
Plus... I miss people. I've hated having to drive at least three hours to see the ones I love most. I've had to bend over backwards to get myself home for holidays or any kind of special events, and a lot of times I just miss out.
So, I prayed for a change. I prayed that God would make it happen -- and He did. He landed me a good job and an apartment only a few blocks from Annie, Nick, and Jonathan. Now I'm praying for the courage and motivation to live the life He intends for me. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Cliche, but true.
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| Today is my 20th spiritual birthday. Although a flashback to January 28, 1988 would just be my 3-1/2-year-old self praying to "ask Jesus into my heart" with a lot of guidance from my mom (no crazy spiritual turnaround for me), and I feel like I didn't really take God seriously till, like, high school, today is still the day marked on the calendar that I accepted Jesus as my "life leader and forgiver" (as Pastor Paul would say). In years past, January 28th hasn't really meant much to me, but God used Pastor Paul yesterday to really convict me that I am living a sinful life.
"If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God... how... severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace?" ~ Hebrews 10:26-29
You guys, that's exactly what I've been doing... living this "Jesus on the side" kind of life is even WORSE than ignoring Him completely like a non-Christian would. I feel disgusted with myself because I have been putting all my own selfish comforts and idols before Him. And while I still don't feel joyful or completely satisfied while I'm spending time with Christ (it's definitely not the first place I'd choose to be), I am acting like a SPOILED BRAT by ignoring God just because I don't really feel like hanging out with Him.
Today, I choose to set my daily alarm clock for 6am instead of 6:45, be the 20-year-old ADULT Christian that I am, and give God the time of day He deserves, despite my comfort zone. I finally feel like I have a bit of a fire under my butt.
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| This morning I sat in front of our tiny apartment Christmas tree, piano Christmas music playing, and my Christmas blend coffee from Starbucks brewing. I even had a "Christmas morning" candle burning. I was feeling cozy and reflective, so I finally decided to journal a bit (hadn't actually done that since the morning of my baptism a year ago). What follows is excerpted from my thoughts this morning...
I am loving my job at the bank most days, which is so strange considering it's the complete opposite of what I went to school for. I think what I like about it is the organization of it, the black and white rules and the problem solving that my left brain thrives on. I also enjoy the people I work with -- not just my coworkers, but (most of) my customers, too. Since I took my fulltime position in July, though, life has been a blur. I feel like I haven't done much of anything other than work since then. While I do feel like I've grown up a lot these past six months, I have also become even more of a recluse. I think it's because after eight to nine hours of over-stimulation and dealing with nothing but people, I come home and really just want to be quiet. And not go anywhere. Even though this probably frustrates some of my friends, for my own sanity, I can't be around people that much. Boy, am I wired like my dad!
I feel a bit distant from God again, but now it's different from last time... now I know He is right there, reaching for me, if I would just reach out and grasp His hand. I stubbornly refuse, though -- nearly every day! It's definitely not a time issue, which I used to be able to claim for so many years as a busy student. No, now it truly is a stubbornness issue, along with a lack of fellowship, I think. No one regularly challenges me to grow closer to God in a real, up-close way, so I just have my own voice in my head -- the "you SHOULD" have a quiet time each day! And I'm so disgusted and fed up with that voice that I ignore it. I need to ask God to make me WANT to spend time with him, but if I do that, He might actually grant me that desire, and then where would I be? Maybe I'm satisfied living the mediocre, "daily grind," even-keel life I've been leading. It's nothing exciting, but I can handle it. Can I handle being challenged and changed on a daily basis by the living God?! I don't know if I want to. I'd have to leave my comfort zone for sure. Maybe get up off the couch once in awhile. I think my soul is a couch potato.
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